Reparations

It was her twenty-sixth birthday and she was drunk and wanted sex, but unfortunately there were only two people at the house party who could provide that and they were in an exclusive relationship of providing it only to each other and she didn’t think either of them could be convinced that since it was her birthday and they were such good friends that they should make an exception and provide it to her. And even if they were the type of men who could be convinced that friendship meant that they owed giving her that one thing that she had been lacking one year to the day, they would immediately change their minds, because she was on her period and they were not used to dealing with such things and she knew both of them were squeamish and even if they managed to look past her tits and be willing to slide it in, they would not be able to get it up (and most importantly in) once they saw the blood. Not that her last boyfriend had either—he was even reluctant to hold her hand during that time of the month as if he believed she didn’t wash her hands after changing her pad and the blood lingered still (yes, pad, not tampon—tampons caused an incessive itch that had once made her scream during a Calculus II final). She supposed it was her own fault dating a Chad. Chads had that tendency for disgust for a woman’s natural bodily functions. Now her boyfriend before Chad was Native like her (though he was Lakota and she was Anishinaabe and their tribes had been traditional enemies before the unifying hatred of the white colonizers and she supposed the idea of being traditional-enemies-turned-lovers made the sex all the better), and this Lakota man; he, like the majority of Native men (the ones whose minds hadn’t been colonized into believing the female body and its life-bringing functions were repulsive and not sacred), didn’t care about her moon, enjoyed the way it made her ten times as horny, always wanting him inside her. He was happy to provide that, multiple times a day, and even enjoyed the occasional red beard which she allowed, even though it kind of grossed her out (she supposed that was the colonization of her own mind). But unfortunately, that very willing and giving Lakota boyfriend had been a bit too giving and had given it to a dozen different women during their relationship and even though the sex was great, she had been forced to end it with him and found herself in a relationship soon after with Chad, which had ended on her last birthday over the fact that he had put on the Indians vs. Braves baseball game after her mediocre birthday dinner and even though he was a fan of neither team and was just watching it because it was the playoffs and he was simply curious to see who would move on and possibly face his favorite team (the Cubs), she realized in that moment that their cultural differences were too vast and she couldn’t face a future where she would be forced to be in the same house as a TV playing Indians, Braves, Blackhawks, Seminoles, Chiefs, or Redskins games on top of no sex or partner masturbation during her moon. He had packed up all his stuff that very night and was overly polite about the whole thing and she supposed that politeness was his confusion over their ending (she hadn’t bothered to explain her reasoning) combined with his Midwest sensibilities.

With no other options presenting themselves on her twenty-sixth birthday, she made a pass on her two good friends, announcing the merits she could provide to their relationship (no need to buy any more lube), and these good friends, they shut it down immediately, saying they were flattered and she was drunk and it really wasn’t all that good of an idea, they wouldn’t want to sully the friendship, after all, but don’t worry she would find someone soon. She stumbled her way back to the fridge and poured another glass of wine and couldn’t get over the distinct impression that she and they weren’t actually as good of friends as she had once thought. And so she was left having not gotten sex on her twenty-fifth birthday (having broken up with Chad before they got around to that activity) and having no possibility of sex on this birthday too unless one of her female friends showed up to the house party with maybe a Brad in tow and she was able to convince either the friend or the Brad that sex, specifically with a penis, was in fact owed to her, not only because it was her birthday, but because they were also inhabitants, interlopers, colonizers of this land, her land, that they stood upon in that very moment. A Brad, she believed, could be convinced that that was reason enough, in fact, to cheat on the woman he had come with, because he was an ally and she was beautiful and you know, reparations and all. He was only doing his part.